As you may know from EFT, the main line you repeat is ....’I deeply and completely love and accept myself.’  This is often a porkie pie (Rhyming slang in the UK for ‘lie’), and slows down the healing work, so I’ve devised a simple, effective practice that takes literally a minute or so each day.

 

The exercise is:

1)      Go stand in front of a mirror, and tell yourself, “(Name), I love you”.

2)      Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel.  I felt a tension behind my eyes, other responses people have had range from nausea to dizziness to literal cringing, wanting to turn their face away from the mirror, voices saying ‘this is (insert expletive)’ – in short – anything you experience is normal. 

3)      Allow yourself to verbalise what you experienced, e.g.

a.       “I feel sick”

b.      “I can’t stand to look at myself and say that”

c.       “God, all I can do is cringe”

d.      “I feel this strange tension behind my eyes”

e.      “There’s this voice is saying this is pointless/is s%*t/etc"

4)      Then tap on it, with the end bit softened and gentled

a.        so the beginning bit of the set-up would be something like:

                                                               i.      “Even though I feel sick when I say I love myself...”

                                                             ii.      “Even though I can’t stand to look at myself and say that...”

                                                            iii.      “God, even though all I can do is cringe when I say ‘I love you’... ”

                                                           iv.      “Even though I feel this strange tension behind my eyes when I say ‘I love you’ ...”

                                                             v.      “Even though it feels completely impossible to love myself with this feeling (of nausea, cringing, etc.) ...”

b.      And the end bit of the set-up would be something like:

                                                               i.      “...I accept this is where I am right now”

                                                             ii.      “...I accept this is how I feel for now”

                                                            iii.      “...I’m open to loving myself someday”

                                                           iv.      “...I choose it make it possible to love myself at some point in the future”

5)      As time goes on, you may feel a loosening of the resistance to loving yourself, but still feel something reacting inside that does not feel like love.  Just adjust your language to fit your experience at the moment.

6)      TIP: Your left and right eyes may have different experiences!!  When you do this exercise, try saying “(your name), I love you” to your right eye, and then the left, as two separate exercises.  You can play with this, and do your left eye one day, and your right eye the next, or just keep your eyes in balance.

 

When are you done with this exercise??  Well, when you say ‘I love you’ and you consistently have a response of joy, laughing, big smiling, deep contentment, etc.  Anything less indicates there is more that this exercise has to offer.

 

Personally, it took me 3 months of doing this exercise before I began to feel like I could say, ‘Shoshana, I love you’, and mean it.  This exercise takes immense courage, and it is important to give yourself the credit you deserve for taking this on.  There are a couple more benefits of doing this exercise daily.  One is that you don’t have to sit down and work on something specific.  You can allow your unconscious to generate whatever you need to tap on, and this leads to another huge benefit – you deal with the junk and illusions blocking your self-love UNCONSCIOUSLY.  You don’t need to know what memory you may be tapping on, you just tap on the response you get when you tell yourself you love you. 

 

It’s simple, it’s elegant, it’s easy, and it is effective.  How about doing it today?

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